Friends in secret places.

There are friends and then there are FRIENDS. I have made many friends within my high school years but after all this...all four years...I don't know if I've ever felt so touched before. There's this acquaintance of mine, his name is Alec. He was an acquaintance but now he's become one of my really great friends. It's amazing how I simply opened up to him one day and he changed. He went from the kind of guy who jokes around and teases others (along with being a smartypants knowitall) to a really sweet, understanding, and thoughtful person. He really listens and does his best to help. When my sponsor passed away (which was last week wednesday) I was so depressed. I felt like it was all my fault. I felt like I didn't visit her and that I didn't do anything to try to help her. How could I have not known that my sponsor was ill? Here's what went down that day: 

Alec (9:20:58 PM): yo Sayuri 
Alec (9:21:01 PM): I got a question 
Me (9:21:44 PM): Sure?
Alec (9:21:51 PM): how are you 
Alec (9:21:53 PM): ? 
Alec (9:21:56 PM): that's the question 
Me (9:22:14 PM): I could be a lot better
Me (9:22:15 PM): and you?
Alec (9:22:23 PM): aiight 
Alec (9:22:24 PM): why 
Alec (9:22:26 PM): what's wrong 
Me (9:27:38 PM): Someone close to me passed away
Alec (9:28:27 PM): oh god 
Alec (9:28:29 PM): sorry Sayuri 
Alec (9:28:53 PM): you've probably heard this alot 
Alec (9:28:58 PM): but if there's anything I can do 
Alec (9:29:00 PM): just ask 
Me (9:32:24 PM): Awwww
Me (9:32:33 PM): Thank you Alec
Me (9:32:52 PM): Just hearing that made me feel better :]
Alec (9:33:22 PM): great 
Me (9:34:38 PM): Did you ever experience someone passing away?
Alec (9:35:58 PM): uhhhh 
Alec (9:36:07 PM): to the extent that you're feeling, no 
Alec (9:36:12 PM): but I know alot of people who have 
Alec (9:36:20 PM): and this is their philosophy 
Alec (9:36:24 PM): they live on through their heart 
Alec (9:36:29 PM): that sounds like a load of bs 
Alec (9:36:35 PM): but if you think about it existentially 
Alec (9:36:38 PM): it is completely true 
Alec (9:36:53 PM): you're comrade might be dead, but he/she is not forgotten 
Alec (9:36:56 PM): take solace in that 
Me (9:38:13 PM): ;_; aww
Alec (9:38:25 PM): do I know him/her 
Me (9:38:40 PM): Oh probably not, she's my sponsor at church
Me (9:38:45 PM): I really cared about her though
Alec (9:38:45 PM): oooohhhh 
Alec (9:38:53 PM): well I hope my words help 
Me (9:38:57 PM): They do
Me (9:39:15 PM): I just wish she didn't have to go..
Alec (9:39:33 PM): "have to" is a funny phrase 
Alec (9:39:37 PM): if you're religious 
Alec (9:39:44 PM): it implies it is God's great plan 
Alec (9:39:49 PM): if that's what you believe 
Alec (9:40:00 PM): you can also take solace in the fact that he had the correct motives 
Me (9:40:31 PM): i know, I know she's probably really happy in heaven but I wanted to spend more time with her ;[
Me (9:40:43 PM): I wanted to give back the kindness she always gave me
Alec (9:40:51 PM): hmmmmmm 
Alec (9:40:59 PM): well that's easy 
Alec (9:41:03 PM): pray 
Alec (9:41:13 PM): I"m not religious in the christain sense 
Alec (9:41:18 PM): but you're going to do her good 
Alec (9:41:40 PM): and your perception of her (which is really her) by devoting time to thinking about her 
Alec (9:41:57 PM): nothing can't be done 
Me (9:42:24 PM): Thanks =] 
Me (9:42:30 PM): I didn't think of that
Me (9:42:36 PM): >.<>

I look at this situation and I feel...blessed. Although I feel stupid as well. How could I have no seen such a great friend before? There are probably many other people around me whom I have never bothered to TRULY get to know. I wish I had more time to get to know everyone now...but I fear it might be too late. June is coming up soon. It's a shame to see everyone go their separate ways. Then again, it might be for the best because we'll all meet new people. We'll have new experiences, good and bad. 

Ahh I don't know why, I was actually going to give up writing blogs. But I felt the urge to write this one. This feeling inside just makes me want to write. I hope that people out there will find friends who are like this. Friends who genuinely care, or even an acquaintance, because it shows how great they are. 

Of course, a great friend cannot take the place of that of a boyfriend/girlfriend. That person is your best friend and should be the best male/female friend you have. Having any other person that comes close to your boyfriend/girlfriend is not right as it may develop feelings of jealousy/envy as well as insecurities for your loved one. So be careful!~

Sayuri<3